Yep. Typical trending blog post commencing in 3…2…1…
1. I’m learning sign language
I know a few words and the entire alphabet. I’m fairly new to learning BSL but it’s a useful thing to have. You never know when you’ll need to use this whether it be to communicate with someone who is in need or end up needing to communicate via signing yourself. I’ve worked in the care sector for many years and not only will this open more doors but being able to exchange conversation with someone was sometimes one of the biggest hurdles. Never underestimate the power of dialogue and language!
2. I’m a total bookworm.
I always have been! I could read before going to school. I have a vivid memory of sitting with my new classmates on our first day of school where we were being taught the alphabet and I was allowed to go and play with a few other kids outside instead because we already knew how to read and write. Ever since then I have always been reading something and I can honestly say that my number one struggle of being a Mum is that I have less time to read! It’s genuinely one of my most favourite hobbies.
3. I have Dyscalculia
Number dyslexia! I was diagnosed at 18 and suddenly it all made sense. I was always terrible at maths in school and even learned my two times table late. Back then the teachers were quick to stick you on the front row of the class and leave you to it, they didn’t report back much to the parents so I always thought I was just rubbish. In my mind I have worked out a way to do sums and I’m a quick thinker especially when it comes to bills etc but in front of me on paper, I’ll go into a blind panic. I always got A’s in English at school and my downfall was Maths. Bittersweet!
4. I appear self confident but it’s just a damn mask
I hear comments all of the time saying “I wish I had your confidence” and it’s amazing how much you can hide how you really feel. I don’t take myself seriously in the slightest and I’m the first to take an ugly selfie and caption it ‘#chingoals’ showing more than one (maybe even two?) chins on purpose. I have dyed my hair bright pink and I definitely talk to strangers. The difference is, inside I’m always thinking of what I should change about myself, I hate the weight gain after I had my baby, I hate bloody diets, I don’t like getting undressed, I hate thinking that someone is judging me or saying something nasty about me. That’s why it has taken me years to start this blog even though I wanted to ten years ago and now fucking Zoella has taken my limelight ffs.
I just try to remind myself of a quote I read once and I think other people may like it – “No one is you and that is your power.”
5. I have a weird accent that nobody can place – for no reason!
My dad sounds cockney, he spent a lot of time in London growing up and was very close to my traditional Londoner Nan (I was too, my lovely old bag) and my mum is very well spoken. She sounds like a posh bird! Then I met my husband and I’ve picked up a few scouse twangs here and there. My brother is very well spoken and I’m a mix of… I don’t even know. Cockneys tell me that I sound posh, poshies tell me I sound cockney and other people have asked where abouts from up north I come from! Apparently all my brother can hear is northern so I’m confused.
6. Table manners are everything
I can’t stand talking with your mouth open, elbows on tables, not saying please or thank you etc Maybe a lot of people can relate to that one but it’s my pet peeve. Even Dexter, at 18 months old, eats with his mouth closed! Please and thank you are still magic words at 25 years old.
7. I’m a marshmallow
I wear my heart on my sleeve, I worry constantly, I’m sensitive, emotional and massively empathetic of others. I have a tough side but underneath it all I’m just a big, squishy, pink softie! It’s taken me a long time to practice kindness, to break down the barriers, to not be so defensive and I enjoy being kind.
8. I can’t watch anything that involves children being harmed in any way
On a severe level. I don’t just mean a horror film or anything either. I hate to be ignorant but the documentary that was on last year about those poor children who were shot whilst at school (I struggled to type that) was something I couldn’t physically watch. I’d end up having an anxiety attack and it’s not good for my well being. I’ve been like it since before having Dexter but it’s obviously heightened as I cannot seem to acknowledge these terrible things. Something came up on Facebook the other day after those horrible bombings in Syria of a baby being carried by his mourning parents and although I quickly scrolled past, it made me wake up several times that night crying and feeling sick. All part of being empathetic I guess! (My heart and thoughts go out to these innocent people and their losses)
9. I’ve unfortunately had the misfortune of meeting an emotionally abusive man
I won’t go into detail on such a public place but let me put it this way, I ended it and still ended up being the ‘evil one’ that everyone gossiped about afterwards. Lies were spread that weren’t true in the slightest because (I’m assuming) he was afraid I’d tell everyone what he was really like. I didn’t retaliate and I’m really glad that I didn’t because it taught me who would stand by you without needing to know all of the facts. I’ve been that way ever since! This is the first time I’ve ever said anything so publicly and I only wish I could say more but it’s not what I stand for.
10. I didn’t get over my parents divorce until I was 20.
They split when I was seven and although I’d never have changed my step-parents for the world I did struggle to come to terms with the separation for a VERY long time. Then I met Jamie and realised that you can have children with anyone in the world, doesn’t mean it’ll be with ‘the one’ and their love or lack of love for each other doesn’t reflect on how they feel about their children. After I realised that I grew up, gave myself a stiff talking to and never blamed myself again.
11. I want 3 children
Who knows what the future holds!
12. I wasn’t ready to be a mum
If you wait until you’re ready then it’ll never happen. I wouldn’t change it for the world! I almost feel guilty for admitting that I wasn’t ready but nobody is until that little baby is in your arms and even then you are shitting a dozen bricks.
13. I want a sleeve tattoo
I don’t care what anybody says or how ‘ugly’ they look to some people. It’s my body and I have always wanted a sleeve ever since I was a child and would draw up my arms using felt tip pens! I definitely want a disney villain sleeve…
I wrote this thinking that I wish I had things to tell everyone about like “I have travelled the world” and “I can speak mandarin” but what you don’t know about me are things that are very real to me and have all been life experiences. There are more things that you don’t know about me but nobody other than my husband will know about that side! What are your things that people don’t know about you? If anything, after reading this I realised how secretive I really am but I guess we are all just in our own mysterious bubbles.