I haven’t updated in a while now because I’m lazy and nothing else is a priority more than Pretty Little Liars, The Big Bang Theory and starting to enjoy the colder months with blankets and not moving much. Apart from my toddler of course.
Speaking of my toddler (the hobbit who permanently acts drunk but apparently his age is a good enough excuse for his daily antics), he’s driving me crazy and all I can thank him for is helping me with losing a few pounds because sometimes I feel like I DO NOT SIT DOWN. Not even for ten minutes. He is walking everywhere, he’s had his first bad cold, he’s gone cold turkey with his dummy and is definitely showing signs of withdrawal, he’s discovered this really fun game where you empty every toy box and drawer, he’s learned to draw on everyone (and probably at some point everyTHING) and he hates me when I stop him from almost killing himself in some way. I am without a doubt the worst person ever to him these days.
Apparently this is a phase so I’m just sat here half laughing and half crying at the realisation that the word “phase” doesn’t comfort me because each day has become twenty percent beautiful and eighty percent mind boggling. How did little useless me become fully responsible for a human being that is constantly learning boundaries, discipline, emotions, expressiveness, communication, language and affection? These difficult phases are vital for those things to be a success and the more I allow myself to feel stuck and completely drained from a hard day I know I’ve done my best and I’ve succeeded by doing so. Phases aren’t just phases, they’re times of change and progress; once we are both used to our new ways it dies down and it sinks into normal life until the next phase. The cycle continues.
When I sit like this, feeling sorry for myself and wonder how I’ve got through another day (mainly when my husband is at work) I just know that it’s normal and I wouldn’t change a thing. We’d all prefer things to be easy but I’ve never gained as much success or progress when I’ve chosen the easy route; it always requires hard work, dedication and patience.
I’m still going to allow myself a temporary, extremely quick break down in the bathroom on occasions but then I’ll pick myself up and he will make me smile so that the rest is totally worth it.
Parents of toddlers – we got this.